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T O P I C R E V I E Wseveneieghtorange Guys and girls...please I need advice!! This guy Ive been seeing is a Taurus sun/libra moon [may 14 1981]. ive been seeing him for 4 months now and its been really great. recently ive been thinking about where this whole thing was going and I finally had the nerve and the guts to tell him what I was thinking and feeling. I did so yesterday, and basically my question was about boundaries...whether this whole relationship was exclusive or completely open. as a cancer sun/scorpio moon [june 28 1985] and I personally cannot stand the idea of open relationships. Labels [i.e. "boyfriend and girlfriend"] are safe, and therefore I can move more freely in the situation, as long as I know the boundaries and territory is there. Taurus guy said that he didn't "get" the idea of labels and the last girl that was his girlfriend, he asked out when he was 17. He's 23 now and broke up with her 2003, when he was 22. and I was wondering: "It took him THAT long to pronounce her as his girl??". That there was basically no difference between me and him RIGHT NOW to him and me as boyfriend and girlfriend. He also said that labels to him were serious and that to call someone that, would mean the eventual leading to marriage and so forth. Aaargh, it is making me go crazy...as a Cancerian what else could I say but "Okay" and "That's fine" when I really wanted to say "What the hell is wrong with you?". And everytime I said "Okay, that's fine", he would say "Please don't say that, stop saying that", as if he wants much more except he couldn't give it to me... So...I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if he is ever going to call again. And it's making me frustrated and at the same time, sad, because I really thought it could've worked out. Any thoughts and comments? What I should do/shouldnt do for him to be...how should I say it...enticed to be together with me?? maya-vHe is intuitive abt yur feelings and he feels them too but it has to be HIS decision and HIS idea to say it - he is the MAN and he is a BULL so dont push him. Seriously - DONT PUSH HIM! He does feel it babes, he is waiting for the right moment to tell you. If you ask too often or show him you're sad abt it, he will get confused and you do not want a confused bull on your hands - trust me, he will just sit on it for YEARS and not get anywhere!Instead, I suggest, start subtly showing him the benfits of being exclusive. Woo him with wonderful treats and the comfort and security of always having someone wonderful around to care for him. A nice hug and cuddle works far better than the pouties and you never know, one day when his slightly round belly is full of well cooked solid grub and he is warm and happy - he might just pop the question and surprise you! (And they say we bulls are predictable - hah!)maya-vGood food - cooked with love ... a nice picnic on fresh green grass, among the smell of pines ... the feel of soft luxurious fabrics, the sight of rich, warm earthern colors, the touch of your cheeks and your lips - arouse his senses, make him feel warm adn special and be his woman in the true sense. Trust his judgement, make him feel the strength you know he posseses and see the love bloom in his cow eyes!running_bullAs a bull, I must say Maya is correct. Don't push him to make a decision. I was with my boyfriend for eight or nine months before I referred to him as my boyfriend and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that he heard me refer to him as such.It's only been four months, give him a chance to decide what he wants. If he decides to be in a relationship it will be for a long time. So just relax with the questions and please do not give any ultimatums. Also, by asking you not to say "okay, that's fine". He's really saying just tell me what the the problem is and not hide it. He can't read your mind, just be real with him.Good luck. seveneieghtorange You guys were right, I knew better than to pressure him to say anything else, so all I could say was "Okay, that's fine". Which it was! Cos if I elaborated more, I wouldve gone much more dramatic. I guess my other question is...would it be better for me to call him and pretend that nothing ever happened, as if we never had that talk OR wait for him to call me and then pretend nothing ever happened?? I'm sorry for bugging you guys it's just that Ive never had to deal with anyone so stubborn...as to being a Taurus sun, he also has a Taurus ascendant. sthenriCan you call him your special friend?I call lots of men boyfriends, it doesn't mean much to me, and I am a Taurus, nowadays I prefer special friend to differentiate between all the guys who just want to "get to know me", which could mean anything..Taurus is suspicious, that's all, get him to trust you and you are his girl, open up about your life, ask questions, encourage him to ask you anything and answer openly,NatashaTaurus/Cancer Moonmaya-vI agree with Nat - I am a Taurus sun, Pisces moon and I am wary of labels too. If someone is your BOYFRIEND, they can that easily break up with you and that easily you'd be history. But if someone is with you just becasue of the bond you have, be it friendship, love or even marriage - they will last as long as you work to keep the bond alive. But when you are in a 'RELATIONSHIP', the rules come in and they can be a horrible self fullfiling prophecy!Strengthen the bond you have, emphasize on the need , the want for each other and relish the togetherness! Pretty soon, it will get to a point where it will actually mean a lot more than the conventional boyfriend-girlfriend label!And yes, its great to be friends first, just explore each othere's minds and emotions without being too wary of annoying them or the fear of losing them. Trust me, I learnt that at a great cost!And dont pretend! Just let the words, the emotions flow out, be honest abt what you feel without trying to pin it into a box. Its amazing how free you feel once you have opened up your heart to the one you love!pidauaIs it me, or do Bulls seem to respond in two ways- 1) Rush in and claim their prize or "make" it/ he / she- their prize2) Sit..focus, think...chew on it.. and then decide...like a LONG time later?My Bull also has a Taurus rising and he does seem to respond in one of the two ways I described above. Our courtship was of the first variety (he is 29, so he has had a bit more time than your Bull to determine what he wants- he has also already been married and divorced). He was very determined to have me and knew right off we would get married.Even though he proposed to me in the airport..he did ask me out right the first time.. It was more like"This is for you...will you?" I was like..Will I what? What is that? OMG..why is everyone staring...Finally he asked me outright "Will you marry me".When I asked him about it (he responded in a way that Maya describes) He said "Well, I was worried because asking you outright give you a chance to reject me".You really can't push him on decisions of the heart, but you do have to be able to lay out your feelings. Don't worry..I have found that of all the signs- Bulls (and Leos) can really handle emotional outbursts. It may freak them out at first and they will handle it rationally- but then they understand. Just one rule- if your Bull says to leave him alone or give him his space..DO IT...Their "thick" exterior is alot like your Cancerian shell. It protects them- inside they have so many emotions, but to vocalize them at times means making them vulnerable. That leads to confusion and like someone said..no one wants a confused Bull on their hands. I had a Taurus business aquaintance that I met in 2001. He is a good ol Texan (and has a Virgo moon like my man). He was taken a bit aback by my bluntness..I called him on a few things when he was flirting with me. We ended up becoming great friends and are still friends to this day. But SLOW...man, our companies were trying to form a deal, but he took forever to make up his mind. I saw him do that frequently in other aspects of his business and he lost a great deal of leads..but he is still successful. They are just like that..they take a while on various subjects. Don't push, but also don't just wait around- you can also ask him how he sees you. They are very honest about that seveneieghtorange Yeah, he's going out of town for a couple of days on wednesday so I'll just call him when he gets back home...that would probably be the wisest move, yes? You know...give him time to think and some space. Thanks guys!!! I appreciate it!GingerBVery interesting discussion, thanks!Oh!~And where is part one?seveneieghtorange Oh, I just started the same topic a few weeks ago with the same name but I just put "part 2" on this one. haha, are you going thru the same sh*t as I am??GingerBWell, not really...I've been proposed to, in a suprising way, and am now being left on hold. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004141.html there's the link to my thread.I'm just wondering what's up with him, and hoping he really doesn't think that I'm gonna sit around waiting forever for him to make up his mind.I'm talking to 2 other guys, but it's only talking online.but Still I'd rather talk with him...seveneieghtorange"I'm just wondering what's up with him, and hoping he really doesn't think that I'm gonna sit around waiting forever for him to make up his mind." --->> Exactly! I feel like an idiot. In normal everyday occurences, I am very impatient but with my love life, that's when I CAN wait. Not necessariy wait ALONE but still be there... Well at least your getting a litte bit distracted with your other 2 guys! GingerBWell, the other 2 are just for entertainment value, to be quite truthful, just talking, and not cybersexing. I just have a strong not want to aura when it comes to talking like that online, to me it's just a waste of that type energy, and I'm more a hands on type.Why get all stirred up all by yourself, talking to someone not even in the same room, that you don't really know?*scoots that subject to the side of the table*See, I'm a bit confused as to the way he's gone about it.All the other times we've seen each other, he was either married, or I was spoken for.This was the first time he'd been around and I'd not been spoken for.I can only guess that he was thinking or feeling the same thing I was whenever we would be in the same place at the same time.These times have been within a 10/12 year time period.I never really entertained my thoughts & feeling about him, because of the territorial boundries.And I guess he has.I've seen him one other time since he asked me.He was planning on bringing his girlfriend to my sister's, and when he found out I was there, he showed up by his self.Now, before he showed up, I was trying to make up my mind if I should leave, because of feeling awkward.He drove up by himself, and I was so nervous, as soon as he got out of the car, I was headed out the back door.(I know, sounds like a kid, but I was nervous)I stayed outside for a little while then went back in the back door.He was sitting in the living room with his brother, there was a western on tv.I had been sitting at the pc desk behind the sofa, behind my bro-in law.And Johnny was sitting on the couch on the left wall.I couldn't help but to smile.And the only time I'd catch him looking is when I'd swing my knees to the left (I'm sitting in a swivel pc desk chair) towards him. But it wasn't a full eye contact shot.Well, he decided to leave, and they went outside. (sister told me later his altenator was bad, and he had to get going so not to use his lights)I'm like, I gotta talk to this guy.So after my bro-in law comes back in, I step out the door, and he waves as he's backing up.I put up my hand with my index finger up, mouthing, 'just a minute'.Well he stops, I walk toward the car, *still nervous* I notice he's looking at my boobs (no bra), so naturally I bring my hands together and start fiddling with my finger's. And I look down at them.As I'm walking, and looking at my hands, I slowly look up at him, and he's grinning ear to ear. *good sign I think*I get to the car, he's pulled back up a bit, and i ask him, "Were you drunk the other night?" I know he wasn't, but I wanted to know if he was serious, without asking if 'he's serious'.He tells me no.Then he says, 'I'll talk to ya.'I ask, 'Ya reckon?'He says 'Yes'and he drives off, slowly.I walk back to the house, and I know he's watching me from the rear view because I can feel him doing it. (I've always had a knack for knowing when I'm being watched)And i checked my rear view when I left, and it's a clear shot, so then I have no doubts he was. I'm just wondering how long he's been thinking this, and I know it took alot for him to be able to come out and say it to me.I just have alot of questions for this guy, and I'm waiting for a job to open up in Salem, MA.I'm afraid I'll be called to work and he'll be waiting, and we'll miss.With my luck, we'll be in 2 different places wishing we were somewhere together.And I'm not sure how to deal with a 'if I ever, will you?' proposition...I'm pretty patient with most things...seveneieghtorangeHaha, sounds like our dear old Taurus to me ;p Yeah I am patient with things, too, but to a point you know? So he basically proposed to you and...left?GingerB quote: So he basically proposed to you and...left?Basically, yes, I think he did...That's one thing I'm a bit confused about, I mean, for him to come out with this question, he's bound to have given it a good bit of thought. He even told me he'd thought about it several times.And well, it seems kinda strange to go straight to the 'hitching' part without the even asked out on a 'date' part.I realise he's proably not wanting for anyone's feelings to be hurt, it's understandable.The thing is, I can't understand why he said, what he did, to me.Then left.I've thought about it, and I think it's very workable.I also know, that I've done to much 'waiting' as far as guys go. (at least for one's who weren't worth the time, <{and of course this is hind site})I turned down a date for this weekend, cause I see no sense in getting to many lines out, to get tangled up inside me.I also told the guy that asked me out, that this was going on, and he told me to just take my time and check this out, cause if I didn't, I might regret that I didn't.So he's been put on hold. Though, I think it says alot for him, to encourage me to find out what's up with the Taurus, rather than not to...What am I suppose to think?I'm not sure...what to do, or what to think.*holds head in both hands*seveneieghtorangeI always think that if things were meant for someone they would just happen. If you know in your heart that it's REAL and for YOU, then I have no doubt he'll be back. Awww, good luck with that sweetie Hehe, I'll be wishing for the BOTH of us with our "predictable" Taurus men. GingerBBest wishes to you as well. I've no doubt he'll be back, I just hope he'll show up soon...
He does feel it babes, he is waiting for the right moment to tell you. If you ask too often or show him you're sad abt it, he will get confused and you do not want a confused bull on your hands - trust me, he will just sit on it for YEARS and not get anywhere!
Instead, I suggest, start subtly showing him the benfits of being exclusive. Woo him with wonderful treats and the comfort and security of always having someone wonderful around to care for him. A nice hug and cuddle works far better than the pouties and you never know, one day when his slightly round belly is full of well cooked solid grub and he is warm and happy - he might just pop the question and surprise you!
(And they say we bulls are predictable - hah!)
It's only been four months, give him a chance to decide what he wants. If he decides to be in a relationship it will be for a long time. So just relax with the questions and please do not give any ultimatums.
Also, by asking you not to say "okay, that's fine". He's really saying just tell me what the the problem is and not hide it. He can't read your mind, just be real with him.Good luck.
I call lots of men boyfriends, it doesn't mean much to me, and I am a Taurus, nowadays I prefer special friend to differentiate between all the guys who just want to "get to know me", which could mean anything..Taurus is suspicious, that's all, get him to trust you and you are his girl, open up about your life, ask questions, encourage him to ask you anything and answer openly,
NatashaTaurus/Cancer Moon
Strengthen the bond you have, emphasize on the need , the want for each other and relish the togetherness! Pretty soon, it will get to a point where it will actually mean a lot more than the conventional boyfriend-girlfriend label!
And yes, its great to be friends first, just explore each othere's minds and emotions without being too wary of annoying them or the fear of losing them. Trust me, I learnt that at a great cost!
And dont pretend! Just let the words, the emotions flow out, be honest abt what you feel without trying to pin it into a box. Its amazing how free you feel once you have opened up your heart to the one you love!
1) Rush in and claim their prize or "make" it/ he / she- their prize
2) Sit..focus, think...chew on it.. and then decide...like a LONG time later?
My Bull also has a Taurus rising and he does seem to respond in one of the two ways I described above.
Our courtship was of the first variety (he is 29, so he has had a bit more time than your Bull to determine what he wants- he has also already been married and divorced). He was very determined to have me and knew right off we would get married.
Even though he proposed to me in the airport..he did ask me out right the first time.. It was more like
"This is for you...will you?" I was like..Will I what? What is that? OMG..why is everyone staring...Finally he asked me outright "Will you marry me".
When I asked him about it (he responded in a way that Maya describes) He said "Well, I was worried because asking you outright give you a chance to reject me".
You really can't push him on decisions of the heart, but you do have to be able to lay out your feelings. Don't worry..I have found that of all the signs- Bulls (and Leos) can really handle emotional outbursts. It may freak them out at first and they will handle it rationally- but then they understand.
Just one rule- if your Bull says to leave him alone or give him his space..DO IT...
Their "thick" exterior is alot like your Cancerian shell. It protects them- inside they have so many emotions, but to vocalize them at times means making them vulnerable. That leads to confusion and like someone said..no one wants a confused Bull on their hands.
I had a Taurus business aquaintance that I met in 2001. He is a good ol Texan (and has a Virgo moon like my man). He was taken a bit aback by my bluntness..I called him on a few things when he was flirting with me. We ended up becoming great friends and are still friends to this day. But SLOW...man, our companies were trying to form a deal, but he took forever to make up his mind. I saw him do that frequently in other aspects of his business and he lost a great deal of leads..but he is still successful.
They are just like that..they take a while on various subjects. Don't push, but also don't just wait around- you can also ask him how he sees you. They are very honest about that
Oh!~And where is part one?
there's the link to my thread.
I'm just wondering what's up with him, and hoping he really doesn't think that I'm gonna sit around waiting forever for him to make up his mind.
I'm talking to 2 other guys, but it's only talking online.but Still I'd rather talk with him...
--->> Exactly! I feel like an idiot. In normal everyday occurences, I am very impatient but with my love life, that's when I CAN wait. Not necessariy wait ALONE but still be there... Well at least your getting a litte bit distracted with your other 2 guys!
See, I'm a bit confused as to the way he's gone about it.
All the other times we've seen each other, he was either married, or I was spoken for.This was the first time he'd been around and I'd not been spoken for.
I can only guess that he was thinking or feeling the same thing I was whenever we would be in the same place at the same time.
These times have been within a 10/12 year time period.I never really entertained my thoughts & feeling about him, because of the territorial boundries.And I guess he has.
I've seen him one other time since he asked me.He was planning on bringing his girlfriend to my sister's, and when he found out I was there, he showed up by his self.Now, before he showed up, I was trying to make up my mind if I should leave, because of feeling awkward.
He drove up by himself, and I was so nervous, as soon as he got out of the car, I was headed out the back door.(I know, sounds like a kid, but I was nervous)I stayed outside for a little while then went back in the back door.
He was sitting in the living room with his brother, there was a western on tv.I had been sitting at the pc desk behind the sofa, behind my bro-in law.And Johnny was sitting on the couch on the left wall.I couldn't help but to smile.And the only time I'd catch him looking is when I'd swing my knees to the left (I'm sitting in a swivel pc desk chair) towards him. But it wasn't a full eye contact shot.
Well, he decided to leave, and they went outside. (sister told me later his altenator was bad, and he had to get going so not to use his lights)I'm like, I gotta talk to this guy.So after my bro-in law comes back in, I step out the door, and he waves as he's backing up.I put up my hand with my index finger up, mouthing, 'just a minute'.Well he stops, I walk toward the car, *still nervous* I notice he's looking at my boobs (no bra), so naturally I bring my hands together and start fiddling with my finger's. And I look down at them.As I'm walking, and looking at my hands, I slowly look up at him, and he's grinning ear to ear. *good sign I think*
I get to the car, he's pulled back up a bit, and i ask him, "Were you drunk the other night?" I know he wasn't, but I wanted to know if he was serious, without asking if 'he's serious'.He tells me no.Then he says, 'I'll talk to ya.'I ask, 'Ya reckon?'He says 'Yes'and he drives off, slowly.
I walk back to the house, and I know he's watching me from the rear view because I can feel him doing it. (I've always had a knack for knowing when I'm being watched)And i checked my rear view when I left, and it's a clear shot, so then I have no doubts he was.
I'm just wondering how long he's been thinking this, and I know it took alot for him to be able to come out and say it to me.
I just have alot of questions for this guy, and I'm waiting for a job to open up in Salem, MA.I'm afraid I'll be called to work and he'll be waiting, and we'll miss.
With my luck, we'll be in 2 different places wishing we were somewhere together.
And I'm not sure how to deal with a 'if I ever, will you?' proposition...
I'm pretty patient with most things...
Yeah I am patient with things, too, but to a point you know? So he basically proposed to you and...left?
quote: So he basically proposed to you and...left?
That's one thing I'm a bit confused about, I mean, for him to come out with this question, he's bound to have given it a good bit of thought. He even told me he'd thought about it several times.And well, it seems kinda strange to go straight to the 'hitching' part without the even asked out on a 'date' part.I realise he's proably not wanting for anyone's feelings to be hurt, it's understandable.
The thing is, I can't understand why he said, what he did, to me.Then left.
I've thought about it, and I think it's very workable.
I also know, that I've done to much 'waiting' as far as guys go. (at least for one's who weren't worth the time, <{and of course this is hind site})
I turned down a date for this weekend, cause I see no sense in getting to many lines out, to get tangled up inside me.I also told the guy that asked me out, that this was going on, and he told me to just take my time and check this out, cause if I didn't, I might regret that I didn't.
So he's been put on hold.
Though, I think it says alot for him, to encourage me to find out what's up with the Taurus, rather than not to...
What am I suppose to think?I'm not sure...what to do, or what to think.
*holds head in both hands*
I've no doubt he'll be back, I just hope he'll show up soon...
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